Not Another Mistake
by Flag
Summary: A songfic. Based on Dally's thoughts after Johnny died.


**A/N:** Muahaha. Wrote this at 11:00pm when I was very, very tired so it didn't really 'turn out' at all. But I thought I'd post it anyways… Critiques are welcomed.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own The Outsiders, or the song _Easier To Run_ which is by Linkin Park. Good song, check it out!

_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go_  
_Than face all this pain here all alone_

"Don't think," Dally told himself. "Don't think about what just happened." If he didn't think about it, it wouldn't hurt. He needed something to preoccupy his mind, so he could run from what had just happened. None of the others knew how he was feeling, none of them.

_Something has been taken from deep inside of me  
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see_

No one knew how he felt about Johnny, and no one would find out. Not over his dead body. They'd never know he thought of him of more than a friend, but cared about him as a brother. No one would ever know…

_Wounds so deep they never show they never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played_

This was worse than any blades in a rumble or chains in a gang fight. This hurt more than skin deep; this hurt his soul. So many memories blurred his mind as he ran, but the memory of Johnny dying flooded his mind. He would never forget it, as long as he lived the memory of Johnny laying dead in the hospital would haunt his mind.

_If I could change I would take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would_

It was a mistake to tell Johnny and Ponyboy to run away. If h hadn't, Johnny wouldn't have died. He would have given anything to change the mistakes he'd made.

"Give me all your money."  
He wouldn't make another mistake.

_If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would_

_I would take all my shame to the grave_

He wasn't running again, not this time. This time, he'd take the punishment for what he'd done, he wouldn't run like he had from the hospital. Both incidents had been his fault, but this time he ran for a reason. He'd take the blame this time.

_Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have  
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past_

He'd done bad things before, seen bad things. But most of that was when he was still in New York. He wasn't proud of some of the things he'd done there, but he wasn't denying them. He just wished he didn't have to remember them.

_If I could change I would take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave_

He'd made the wrong move before, of not telling anyone else what he was doing.

"Darry?"

_Just washing it aside  
All of the helplessness inside  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
It's so much simpler than change_

The burning in his chest as he ran was one of the best feelings he'd ever felt in his life. It was comfort to know that each step brought him one step closer to his wish. This was what he wanted.

_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone_

He wanted to be alone, forever. He didn't want to deal.

_It's easier to run  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made  
It's easier to go  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave_

As the shots sounded in the air, all Dally could think was that he would never make another mistake again.


End file.
